Posts tagged personal

because there is no reason to be pissed at you, I’m just being a child.

But I’m not going to confront the issue with you, because I know the real issue is with myself

and bringing it up with you will just start some drama

and I know that neither of us need that unnecessary shit

because no one on the planet needs it ever

so I’m just going to continue being pissed and childish

until I come to my senses and stop it.

My kidneys are failing. I get it. Calm the fuck down, and stop treating me like I’m an idiot.

I understand what that means. I understand the severity of it.

It doesn’t mean I have to become a depressed zombie, okay? Just because I’m not moping around bemoaning my fate does not mean I don’t understand what’s going on.

You’re supposed to be a Christian too, so why is it so hard for you to believe that I have faith that everything will be okay? It’s how I get by, okay? It’s the only way I can. If I just sit here and say, “OH WOE IS ME! EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE!” then I’ll never make it through this, okay?

Yeah. It’s fucking hard. Hard. Not impossible. And I can do this and I’m going to be okay, so why can’t you just back off? I made a comment. One stupid little comment.

“Everyone is freaking out about this more than I am. They need to calm down.”
“Or maybe they just understand how serious this is. Which you don’t seem to get.”

Oh.

My.

God.

Do you think I’m stupid? It’s not impossible for me to have faith in something, you know. Why can’t you just have faith in me once in a while.

TODAY SUCKS BALLS. I started my period so I’m all crabby anyway and I can’t read squat because my eyes are screwing up and oh my goodness it is so frustrating. My vision keeps getting worse and honestly it’s freaking me out good lord. I need to go to the doctor or something. Ugh. I. hate. everything.

Today is one of those days theat I just want to punch everything in the face.

On the plus side I got a supersweet anon on my main blog. woo! At least I’m loved, even if my day’s been sucky.